Me and My Big Mouth

Walking to my Visual Arts class in the College of Fine Arts, there was a girl a bit ahead of me. She was pretty nondescript; she wore a black scarf, Converse-esque sneakers, a short outerjacket and carried some tote/bookbag/handbag of sorts that all college girls carry. Then suddenly, a wave of surprise came over me. That poor girl's pair of tight jeans was busted! Horizontally, right below her left ass cheek! I must go to her rescue and save her from public ridicule! I hurried and ran up to her, "Hi, excuse me, but your jeans are ripped...right below your ass on the left side." She stared at me for a few seconds, in that vapid BU girl way, as though she saw me, but didn't quite understand that I was alive and standing in front of her, when she said, "Yeah, I know. I did that on purpose. I cut up all my jeans around the crotch area. It's really sexy." I could only utter an, "Oh."

I have seen crotchless panties before. I have seen and cackled at my friend trying on a pair of pants with zippers up the inseam, right into the crotch. Those two other articles were much less offensive, seeing how they were not worn by a bratty little Scene-ster with a pickle butt, heading into CFA aka Bumdom, as she condescendingly sneered at my preppy sweater/clean, hole-free jeans/boots ensemble.

Next time I see a conspicuous tear, hole, exposed nipple and/or nether regions, I am keeping my mouth shut. I will only stare and perhaps take a picture. This was the wardrobe equivalent of asking a big woman when the baby is due, when she clearly only has a case of the fats. ::grumble::